ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR PEOPLE THAT SUPPRESS THEIR ANGER
Please, note that in order to distinguish the appropriate anger management techniques and make things short and clear in this site we call people that express their anger internally "people that suppress their anger".
Anger Management Techniques after the Anger-Provoking Situation Has Passed
People that tend to suppress their anger are usually passive and look calm in the anger-provoking situation. But this doesn't mean they don't respond to the situation. They do as they… bottle their anger up. This is why they need appropriate anger management techniques that will help them release the stored up anger.
If you are one of these people what should you do to release yourself from the destructive influence of the anger? Try these anger management techniques immediately after the anger-provoking situation has passed:
1. Play Anger Management Games!
Playing anger management games is a very constructive way to deal with anger but it seems like most of these games are created for people that express their anger. We believe that people that suppress their anger may participate in these group oriented games too and they may find them very useful.
You can see some of these anger management games here.
Unfortunately most of these games (if not all of them) are group oriented. It is not always possible to convince other people to play with you, especially when you need it.
However, people that suppress their anger need also games that will help them become "more aggressive" in order to become more balanced and get their anger out of their systems. If this is done in an entertaining way, it will ease the process.
We've been working on an anger management online game without violence that can help you deal with your anger successfully in an entertaining way. We are doing our best to launch it soon. Check our site regularly!
2. Work Out!
Physical exercise always works if you want to take out your frustration. It provides an outlet for your feelings and emotions. Exercising allows you to release the stress and frustration that is locked in your body.
Do whatever exercise you prefer – walk, jog, ride bike, swim, hit the gym – whichever type of exercise you enjoy engaging in.
Exercising is important in overcoming anger, but it may not remove deep-seated anger, which is very important for people like you. This is why you need to do something more than this. Since speaking or acting with any emotion rehearses and builds that emotion, exercising should go along with the mental intention of releasing the anger. You need to feel the heavy anger emotion with its full intensity while you exercise. This will assist you in releasing the anger-energy so that it won't return. You may have to do this process repeatedly because the anger may need to be released in layers. It is doubtful that you will release all layers in one single session.
3. Vent in a Safe Way!
Although it is already proven that anger venting is not an appropriate anger management technique for short tempered people, this technique might be helpful for people that are inclined to bottle their anger up. If this is your problem, you need to learn how to be "more aggressive" in order to become more balanced. So it is a recommendation that you understand how to let steam off to ease the pressure – of course, in a safe way. Speaking or acting with any emotion rehearses and builds that emotion, so in order to become more aggressive, venting your anger will help you achieve this. If only exercising proves insufficient for you, venting in a safe way might be an appropriate anger management technique for you.
What exactly can you do? Go in a private room where you will be alone and pound pillows with your fists or legs, or with a plastic bat. Imagine the pillow as the object of your anger and vent your anger on it.
If the anger (or other emotion) is traced to a specific individual, some people have found it helpful to have a symbol of this person at which they can direct the anger. This could be an enlarged photocopy of a photo on a piece of paper which you then scribble-over, tear, burn, or otherwise destroy.
What more can you do? Rip pages of paper. Beat the couch with a plastic bat. You come up with something that can help you vent your anger in a safe way.
However, just as with exercising, the physical activity should go along with the mental intention of releasing the anger. You need to feel the heavy emotions with its full intensity while you pound the pillows, rip the paper, beat the couch, etc. This enables you to finally release all of the anger-energy and the residual anger so that it won't return.
Remember never, ever, ever hurt yourself or other people. Never aim your anger directly and literally at another person. What is important here is your EXPRESSION of the negative emotion, not WHO receives it.
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4. Write in an Anger Diary!
Another approach to release your bottled anger is to write in an "anger diary." In your diary, describe everything that makes you feel bad and angry. No one has to read your words – they simply serve as a therapeutic means to rid the mind of harmful thoughts. Find out the patterns and triggers that lead you to feel angry. Once you identify the problem, you can then find a solution. Writing down your feelings is an excellent passive form of expression where you get to vent it out without affecting or involving others.
Read these testimonies carefully and apply the technique you think is best for you:
"If ever I am angry towards some other people, I've learned not to just utter bad words but rather I write on a journal all that I could have said to someone. After going through it again and again I sort of get relieved and forgive and forget what the other person has done to me. That has saved me a lot."
"I am one of those people who pour everything they think and feel into journals. I also write out my frustrations and anger and when it is all out of my system, I burn the pages, purging not only the journal of the negativism, but also myself... I don't have to relive the event, or the feelings for they are gone and no longer a part of my life. I leave my journals with a raggedy edge here and there, and I know that I must have had a bad day, but that it passed and I moved on to the rest of my abundantly happy and fulfilling life."
We've been working on an Online Anger Diary where you will be able to log your thoughts easy and whenever you want for free. We are doing our best to launch it soon. Check our site regularly!
5. Visualize!
After you have released yourself from the anger tension, you should feel relieved. But there is more you can do. Now, using your imagination try to imagine the object of your anger as something funny. For example, your boss yells at you for something that you didn't do. Try to imagine him in nothing but his underwear, a pair of dorky reading glasses and a big red nose. Now imagine him in this less authoritative outfit yelling at you again. Are you able to get angry at the new mental picture of your boss now? Probably not!
Or imagine him as an amoeba sitting at a desk or talking on the phone. Are you able to get angry at an amoeba? I don't think so.
You can also draw a picture of what it would look like, and visualize it whenever you see that person.
6. Humor Up!
Redirect your thoughts to something funny, reading a joke or funny story, watching funny videos or movies. These are things that disconnect and relieve you from the initial anger, allowing you to move on from it.
We've been working on a Humorous Videos Section where you will find funny videos. We are doing our best to launch it soon. Check our site regularly!
But you need not only to find humor – you need to participate in it too. Humor up! Try to find humor in the situation that made you angry. Sometimes it helps with your anger if you are able to laugh at the situation and yourself as well. Start making jokes, but be careful that you do not become offensive, sarcastic and rude. Please, note that people that are inclined to suppress their anger develop a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. So try not to be sarcastic and cynical in your humor. This is how you create a more balanced situation for yourself.
7. Immerse Yourself in a Relaxing Atmosphere!
Now close your eyes and visualize a relaxing experience. Travel in your mind over beautiful and calm places. If you can, look at relaxing pictures and even listen to relaxing music. This will strengthen your imagination allowing you to transfer yourself into a more calming world. At least for a while.
We've been working on a Relaxation Gallery with relaxing pictures and music that can help you visualize your relaxing experience and calm you down. We are doing our best to launch it soon. Check our site regularly!
8. Share and Speak in a More Assertive Way!
People that suppress their anger are afraid to share their feelings of anger maybe because they tend to have a huge fear about being rejected. Since this is an important anger management technique learning to be more assertive will be helpful.
Some experts would suggest that there is not a lot of difference between anger and assertiveness if the anger is being communicated and expressed in an appropriate way. So, having your goal to learn how to express your anger in an appropriate way it will be good for you to practice assertiveness. Assertiveness doesn't mean aggression. If you learn to assert yourself and let other people know your expectations, boundaries, issues, and so on, you will have much more interpersonal success.
Start practicing more assertiveness when communicate as you share with the person who made you angry how you feel. It's not easy but it is very important for you to learn to share your feelings and how to do it. Use "I feel" instead of "You are" or "You did": "When you said this I felt bad," instead of "You made me feel bad when you…"
Refuse to criticize or blame! This closes doors and rejects people. Consider well what you will say first. If you simply can't find the right approach to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
It may take you a little time and practice to perfect this anger management technique, so be patient.
Visit our Recommended Products Center and find great books that can teach you how to be more assertive. Find cure for your bottled anger here!
Anger Management Techniques That Change the Way You Think
Working over your anger problem needs to go deeper. The most important part of your success is changing the way you think about things. Please, read carefully this last section of your anger management techniques:
1. Understand Your Anger!
The first step in anger management is learning to define the problem and face it head on. In order to overcome your inclination to bottle up your anger you need to understand the chief reason for doing this. Once you have figured out the root cause, you can easily try to prepare yourself to respond to anger in a more appropriate way in future.
Also you need to identify your different anger patterns. You may feel angrier towards one person or situation over others. Ask yourself why.
Finding the chief reason for suppressing your anger and your anger patterns prepares you to respond to anger in an appropriate and healthy way in future.
2. Think Positive!
Do you know that people's emotions and behavior can be greatly affected by what they think? If people can consciously change their habits of what they say to themselves and what mental images they present to themselves, they can make themselves happier and less inclined to get angry.
This is called Cognitive Restructuring technique – to change the irrational beliefs and substitute them with more rational ones. In other words to change the way we think and feel about different things.
Our intentional effort to change thinking negatively and to start thinking positive is a very important side of the fight against anger. People that are inclined to suppress their anger tend to speak in a cynical way. Changing the way you think means replacing negative and cynical words and thoughts with positive ones. Try doing this! Make your mouth pronounce positive words instead of negative and cynical ones.
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is not "out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.
It will not happen overnight but you shouldn't give up. Give your best! You will see life is much better when you are used to thinking positively.
Changing your thoughts, words and actions to ones that are rational instead of irrational is an anger management technique that takes time to learn but it is the core of the solution. You may find it useful to speak with a specialist in this topic or to read a good book. You can visit our Recommended Products Center where you can find great products that can help you change the way you think and to deal with your anger successfully.
Visit our Recommended Products Center here!
3. Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness!
Although people that bottle their anger up are not aggressive and rarely hurt people, they need to ask for forgiveness where damage is made. So, ask for forgiveness from the person you have hurt! We know it is not easy and yet – do it! Although you may look vulnerable, asking for forgiveness actually makes you a worthy person.
People that suppress their anger store up the aggression and the attacks against them and remember them. They think and plan for revenge. One of the most successful anger management techniques that release the mind from these thoughts is to forgive the people that have hurt you.
Forgive the one who has made you angry (even if he/she doesn't want it, forgive him/her)! It is unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want. Forgive the same way as you forgive yourself! The strength to forgive is one of the most amazing human qualities, a true indication of nobility. The ability to forgive gives you great freedom. Forgiving others can release you from your anger and make you a better person.
Forgiveness is probably the strongest approach that can change our thinking and help anyone face anger in a mature way.
We've been working on a Forgiveness Wall that will help you give or ask for forgiveness. This free tool is not meant to substitute your personal contact with the person but only to help you. Check our site regularly!
This last section contains the most important anger management techniques. Your success depends on how you implement them. Here you may need a professional help. Feel free to visit our Recommended Products Center where you can find very useful books and courses – all great products that can help you deal with your anger successfully. We have searched the web for you to provide you with the best anger management products.
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Follow these anger management techniques and enjoy a happy and abundant life!
