Anger Management Anger Management Techniques Anger Management Resources
ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR IMPLOSIVE PEOPLE
"There are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive… Implosive, the least common, is the cashier at the store who remains quiet at his job day after day until he then finally loses it and just shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier," says Jack Nicholson (who plays the anger management Doctor Buddy Rydell) to Adam Sandler's character (Dave Buznik) in the movie "Anger Management."
Are you the cashier? If you are inclined to suppress your anger, here you will find anger management techniques that will help you overcome this dangerous tendency. The healthy approach to controlling your anger is associated with the slight increase of your aggressiveness.
You might be able to contain your anger and stay calm in anger provoking situations, but that doesn't mean that you're not angry. On the contrary, you are angry and your anger is pressuring and torturing you even long after the anger provoking situation has passed. That is why you need to release it before it starts ruining you from the inside, and then bursting out and doing something that cannot be undone. By all means, you should block your tendency to bottle it up inside you, and learn how to release it in a healthy and harmless for you and other people way.
So, what do you have to do to liberate yourself form the influence of anger and not let it settle inside you?
1) Play Anger Management Games!
One of the most effective ways to cope with anger for implosive people is playing anger management games. Although, it may seem that most anger management games are geared towards explosive people, they would be very beneficial to those that suppress their anger.
2) Write in an Anger Diary!
Another way of releasing the anger inside you is keeping an "anger diary." It is just like keeping a regular diary only you describe what make you feel upset and angry. Just pour all your feelings in it! Don't keep anything inside and express it in words. Find those models and triggers that make you feel angry. Once you find the problem, you will be able to find the solution.
3) Work Out!
One of the most recommended techniques for releasing accumulated tension, stress and anger, is physical exercise. We also recommend it to you – exercise! Do the exercises that you like.
The exercises can only be effective if they are combined to your mental effort to release your anger. In other words, it is not enough just to exercise. You need to feel your anger emotion to its full extent while you exercise. This will help you release your anger and keep it out of your system. Keep repeating this process because the deeply suppressed anger is released in layers and cannot be released in a single attempt.
This technique is based on the fact that talking or acting with one emotion repeats and builds this emotion. It is exactly what helps you "get anger out of your system." Therefore, this technique will be very beneficial to you.
4) Vent in a Safe Way!
Even though anger venting is not appropriate technique for explosive people, if applied correctly, it can be very useful for implosive people, because it can be one of the ways they can learn to be a bit more aggressive, which can lead them to a better balance. As an implosive person it is important that you learn how to vent in order to relieve stress. This must be done in a safe way. If for example, working out proves not enough for you, venting in a safe way maybe an appropriate technique.
What exactly can you do? Go to a room, where you will be alone, and hit pillows with fists or kicks or a plastic bat. Imagine that the pillow is the subject of your anger and express your anger at it. If your anger (or another emotion) is directed towards a certain person, you can find it useful to have a symbol of that person and direct your anger towards it. It can be an enlarged picture on a piece of paper, on which you can draw, tear it, burn it or destroy it in another way.
What else can you do? Tear sheets of paper. Hit the sofa with a plastic bat. Think of something else that lets you vent your anger in a safe way. Similarly to working out, here as well, the physical activity should be complimented by a mental effort to release your anger. You should feel the anger emotion to its full extent while you hit the pillow, tear the paper, beat on the sofa, etc. This will enable you to release the anger energy once and for all, so that it doesn't come back.
Remember, never, ever, ever to hurt yourself or anyone else! Don't ever target your anger directly and literary at another person. What is important here is your EXPRESSION of the negative emotion, not WHO receives it.
5) Humor Up!
Redirect your thoughts towards something funny by reading jokes or funny stories, watching funny videos or movies. These are activities that intend to relax you after you have put an effort to release your anger from your system, before you suppress it. These will help you if there is any residual tension and relieve it, so that you can move on relieved.
Don't just take in something fun, participate in one. Make jokes, but remember that implosive people are inclined to turn their humor into sarcasm. And as Dr. Buddy Rydell says, "Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin." That is why you should do your best to avoid being sarcastic and cynical in your humor.
We have developed for you several entertaining videos that you can watch absolutely free. They are so enjoyable you will not feel how they will change your perspective in a more positive way.
6) Immerse Yourself in a Relaxing Atmosphere!
Close your eyes and imagine a relaxing experience. Travel in your mind around beautiful and calming places. If possible, look at calming pictures and listen to relaxing music. This will strengthen your imagination allowing you to immerse yourself in a more relaxed world.
For this purpose we have developed for you a gallery of slide-shows, which can help you relax and calm down. They are free and will provide you an amazing relaxing atmosphere.
Visit our Relaxation Gallery here!
7) Share and Speak in a More Assertive Way!
The last step in overcoming the anger in you is sharing how you feeling with the person that triggered your anger. You can't skip this step, because it is the ultimate goal of anger management – to be able to calmly talk about your anger feeling with the person that triggered it.
People that suppress anger inside them are afraid of expressing their anger feelings, because they are afraid of rejection. Therefore, it would be very useful for them to learn to be more assertive. According to some experts if anger is expressed in a healthy way, it really is the same as assertiveness. So, if your goal is to learn to express your anger the right way, you will benefit from practicing assertiveness. Mastering assertiveness will help you express your anger the right way.
Assertiveness does not mean aggression. If you learn to be more confident and let people know your expectations, boundaries, issues, etc., you will have more successful relationships with others.
So, start practicing assertiveness. Find the ways that make you feel more assertive. This will encourage you to be such even when you share how you feel with the person that made you angry.
When you talk, use the form "I feel" instead of "You are" or "You did": "When you said that, I felt bad," instead of "You made me feel bad, when…"
Do not criticize and accuse! This closes doors and estranges people. First, think carefully what you will say, so you don't regret your words later. Remember that the goal here is a peaceful and free expression.
It is essential that you get to the point where you can freely discuss your feelings with the subject of your anger. This is one of the most important indicators that you have made a serious progress in managing your anger. The aforementioned techniques aim to prepare you for that moment.
Working on your anger issue is not just applying the specific techniques for releasing accumulated anger or avoiding bottling it up inside you. The effort in coping with this issue has to go deeper. The most important part of your success is to change the way you think.
What can you do to change your way of thinking and to start approaching anger in a more mature way?
1) Truthful Thinking!
Did you know that people's emotions and behavior can be greatly affected by the way they think? If people can consciously change their habits about what they tell themselves or what mental pictures they build for themselves, they could be happier and less likely to let anger ruin them from the inside. This is called Cognitive Restructuring technique – to replace your irrational beliefs with more rational ones. In other words, to change the way we think and feel about different matters.
Try replacing the negative words and thoughts with some more sensible and realistic ones. Even when justified, anger can quickly become irrational. Therefore, when trying to explain a situation use cold hard logic. Remember, the world is not out to get you. You are just going through some of the adversities of everyday life that everyone goes through.
Changing your thoughts, words, and behavior with rational instead of irrational ones, is an anger management technique that takes time to be mastered, but is the core of the solution.
2) Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness!
Because the implosive people are inclined to accumulate the aggression and attacks against them, they are also inclined to remember them. Some of these people can go as far as considering and planning revenge. One of the most successful techniques to control your anger and to get rid of the harmful thoughts is to forgive people who have hurt you. Do not hesitate! Do it and you will feel what freedom is. The ability to forgive sets you free and releases a terrible burden. This will make you a better person, too.
Although implosive people rarely hurt other people they also need to ask for forgiveness when appropriate. Forgiveness is the only way to restore broken relationships. While developing your ability to talk in a more assertive way, don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness from the person that you have hurt. Though you might be nervous that you seem insecure, asking for forgiveness makes you a noble and worthy person. This does not diminish your reputation – on the contrary, it elevates it. Forgiveness is maybe the strongest approach that can change your way of thinking and to help you deal with anger in a more mature way.
If you use regularly the technique to change your way of thinking, you will notice that with time you will find it easier to release the accumulated anger and not even allow yourself to suppress it inside you. This is exactly why the thought altering techniques are most important in your struggle with anger and help the most in containing anger and its controlled expression.
Try to apply these techniques in the order they are listed. This is very important, because the order you apply these techniques lets you start with being more aggressive to block your tendency to suppress anger and when you release it, to start using more passive techniques for your complete relaxation. So, as much as possible, follow that sequence!
Follow these anger management techniques and enjoy a happy and abundant life!
Remember to take advantage of all free anger management resources, which we have developed for you. These will be extremely helpful to release suppressed anger and will complement nicely your efforts to change the way you think.
Free anger management resources:
If you feel the need to sign up for an anger management class, but you don't have the time to attend, maybe you would be interested in an online class. We offer a very effective one. Why don't you take a look? Find out more here!
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