Anger Management Anger Management Techniques Anger Management Resources
ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR EXPLOSIVE PEOPLE
"There are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive, which is the most common, is the type of individual you see screaming at a grocery store cashier for not taking his coupon." This is how Dr. Buddy Rydell from the comedy "Anger Management" would describe the most common way of expressing anger.
Do you tend to express your anger externally? So, you need the right anger management techniques, which will help you decrease your aggressiveness.
Here are some techniques, which you can apply, when you feel you are in an anger provoking situation and you are about to explode:
1) Breathe Deep!
Deep diaphragm breathing helps reduce the level of adrenaline and to calm you down. Inhale a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale. Repeat this until you calm down. Repeat to yourself and picture the following: "Relax! Calm down! Relax!"
2) Count to Ten!
Slow counting to ten will not channel anger, but can decrease the damage that you can cause while you are angry. It helps you step away from the situation and gives you time to evaluate the problem better – something very important in an anger provoking situation.
3) Remember an Anger Quote!
Wise people have tried to sum up their observations on anger in interesting thoughts and proverbs. Memorizing and remembering them in a dire situation can be of real help. Usually they are quite original and it is not hard to remember them. Read, for example, these three quotes and see how easy it is to remember them:
"He who angers you conquers you" (Elizabeth Kenny).
"Anger is one letter short of danger" (Popular Saying).
"People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing" (Will Rogers).
They are very easy to remember, right? Why not use them as a means to curb anger then? Remember them and repeat them to yourself when you are tempted to respond in an inappropriate way in an anger provoking situation.
Want more anger quotes? Find more anger quotes here!
The solution of the anger issue of explosive people does not end here. There is more you can do. You probably have noticed that even when the situation, which provoked anger has passed, the negative mood and tension still linger. The longer you have been engaged in such a situation (i.e. angry), the stronger and more daunting is the residual effect of anger. What do you have to do to release the residual effect of anger on you?
1) Humor Up!
Redirect your thoughts towards something funny by reading jokes or funny stories, watching funny videos or movies. These are activities, which will distract you and release you from the primary anger and will allow you to move on relieved.
We have developed for you a few amusing videos, which you can watch absolutely free. They are so entertaining you will not feel how they will relieve you from the residual effect of anger.
2) Immerse Yourself in a Relaxing Atmosphere!
Close your eyes and imagine a relaxing experience. Travel in your mind around beautiful and calming places. If possible, look at calming pictures and listen to relaxing music. This will strengthen your imagination allowing you to immerse yourself in a more relaxed world.
For this purpose we have developed for you a gallery of slide-shows, which can help you relax and calm down. They are free and will provide you an amazing relaxing atmosphere.
Visit our Relaxation Gallery here!
3) Play Anger Management Games!
One of the most effective ways to cope with anger and with its residual effect on us is playing anger management games. Their goal is to help people realize that each situation has different solutions and that they cannot control everything in their life. It is more reasonable to learn how to cope with matters that are out of our control than to succumb to anger.
4) Write in an Anger Diary!
Another technique to release the residual influence of anger is to write in an "anger diary." It is like keeping the usual diary only you describe in it everything that makes you feel upset and angry. Pour all your feelings in it! Find those models and triggers that make you feel angry. Once you find the problem, you will be able to find the solution.
5) Work Out!
One of the most recommended techniques for releasing accumulated tension, stress and anger, is physical exercise. We also recommend it to you – exercise! Do the exercises that you like.
However, in order for the exercises to achieve their goal, it is recommended that you experience the anger emotion in its entire strength while exercising. That will help you release it without having it come back.
You have to keep something in mind, though. Talking and dealing with an emotion repeats and builds this emotion. Therefore, this technique is certainly very useful for people who suppress their anger, because it helps them to get it out of their system. It can be a double edged sword for explosive people, though. There is a chance to reinforce the accumulated tension in you. The smartest way is to find out what works best for you. Try exercising while you make an effort to feel the anger emotion in its entire strength. If you find out that in the end you are getting more stressed out and angry, then it is recommended that you exercise after you have reached some level of relaxation through the aforementioned techniques without combining it with your anger emotions. Simply find out what works best for you.
The Anger Venting Myth
During the 1970s the venting therapy (expressing anger in an aggressive way) was quite popular approach for dealing with anger. However, recent researches prove that it is not useful and harmless, because it actually increases blood pressure and the adrenaline level, and this is not recommended when a person needs to calm down, which is our goal for explosive people. This technique actually creates more tension in the body extending the anger state instead of reducing it. So, instead of reducing anger and tension, it only leads to their increase and the possibility to make the person more aggressive.
Also, anger venting creates negative reaction models in anger provoking situations, which can be repeated in the future. It does not make the hostile feelings go away. Instead, they stay and start stalking you. In addition, the practice of this technique harms other people and makes them respond in the same aggressive manner.
We absolutely do not recommend this technique for coping with anger for explosive people! If you feel the need to release the accumulated tension in you, do it through exercising following the aforementioned advices.
6) Share!
The last step for releasing the residual effect of your anger is to share how you feel with the person, who made you angry. That is the goal of anger management – to be able to calmly discuss your anger emotion exactly with the person who made you angry. This should not be delayed. However, you have to do it when you are completely calm. That is why we leave this technique for coping with the residual influence of anger as last.
When you talk, use the form "I feel" instead of "You are" or "You did": "When you said that, I felt bad," instead of "You made me feel bad, when…"
Do not criticize and accuse! This closes doors and estranges people. First, think carefully what you will say, so you don't regret your words later. Remember that the goal here is a peaceful and free expression.
It is essential that you get to the point where you can freely discuss your feelings with the subject of your anger. This is one of the most important indicators that you have made a serious progress in managing your anger. The aforementioned techniques aim to prepare you for that moment.
Working on your anger issue is not just applying the specific techniques for coping with it while you are in an anger provoking situation or after it has passed. The effort in coping with this issue has to go deeper. The most important part of your success is to change the way you think. What can you do to change your way of thinking and to start approaching anger in a more mature way?
1) Truthful Thinking!
Do you know that people's emotions and behavior can be influenced by the way they think? If people can consciously change their thinking habits and the mental images they build for themselves, they can become happier and less prone to anger. This is called Cognitive Restructuring technique – to replace your irrational beliefs with more rational ones. In other words, to change the way we think and feel about different matters. Try replacing the negative words and thoughts with some more sensible and realistic ones. For example, instead of saying: "Oh, that is horrible, it's all over," try saying: "This is disappointing and it is completely understandable that I am upset, but this is not the end of the world and if I get angry this will not fix anything."
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when justified, can easily become irrational. Therefore, when trying to explain a situation use cold hard logic. Remember, the world is not out to get you. You are just going through some of the adversities of everyday life that everyone goes through. Instead of expressing anger, a more constructive reaction would be to find a solution of the problem.
Changing your thoughts, words, and behavior with rational instead of irrational ones, is an anger management technique that takes time to be mastered, but is the core of the solution.
2) Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness!
No doubt, one of the worst results of anger is hurting other people. This ruins relationships. If we want to move on, we have to learn to recover the ruined relationships. The only way for this is… forgiveness. So, do not be afraid to ask for forgiveness the person you have hurt in your anger. Though you might be nervous that you seem insecure, asking for forgiveness makes you a noble and worthy person. This does not diminish your reputation – on the contrary, it elevates it.
If it is the other person's fault, forgive the person that made you angry. Even if he/she is not apologizing, forgive them! It is unrealistic to expect everyone to behave the way you want them to.
The ability to forgive gives you freedom, relief from a terrible burden. It will make you a better person. Forgiveness is maybe the strongest approach that can change your way of thinking and to help you deal with anger in a more mature way.
If you apply regularly these thought altering techniques, you will realize that you are more resilient in anger provoking situations and that later the residual effect of your anger has a weaker impact on you. This is exactly why the thought altering techniques are most important in your struggle with anger and help the most in containing anger and its controlled expression.
Try to apply these techniques in the order they are listed. This is very important, because this order will help you first subdue your aggression and only then, once you are calm, proceed to less passive techniques for your complete release of the residual anger effect. So, as much as possible, follow that sequence!
Follow these anger management techniques and enjoy a happy and abundant life!
Remember to take advantage of all free anger management resources that we have developed for you. These will be of exceptional help in releasing the residual effect of anger and will successfully complement your efforts in changing your way of thinking.
Free anger management resources:
If you feel the need to sign up for an anger management class, but you don't have the time to attend, maybe you would be interested in an online class. We offer a very effective one. Why don't you take a look? Find out more here!
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